Asalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wa barakatu Mamas,
I hope youve had an enjoyable week so far.
Many of you will know that I decided to delete my Instagram page which I started earlier this year. Alhamdulillah, through it I was able to connect with so many of you, and thus many sisters messaged me asking me reasons why. Direct messaging wasn’t sufficient for me to explain since it was a culmination of things, thus I decided to write this blog post.
Before I begin, I’d like to highlight that this post is personal to me, so shouldn’t be taken as applicable to everyone. There were so many ideas, connections and overall encouragement I found through my Instagram platform, and this post is in no shape discrediting the benefits of social media.
This is just why I left.
So, I began my page with the aim of encouraging sisters who are homeschooling but also for mothers in general, and alhamdulillah I bonded with so many sisters since we share similar experiences, routines, struggles and milestones.
However, for the last couple of months or so, I felt like Instagram’s benefits were becoming less and less. Even though I began with the intention to keep it as a tool rather than a necessity, making sure I shared what I felt was beneficial, and trying not to compromise the way I used my phone (hence no pictures of field trips/everyday life) the lines somehow started to get blurry for me.
I began to feel I needed my phone close to me, ‘incase‘ there something cropped up that I could perhaps share.
I would wake up and check my phone in the morning, which eventually lead to me scrolling through my feed (I dread to think of how long I browsed), though normally that would be something I tried to avoid.
But I think the things I felt affected me more are perhaps the most difficult to put into words. It was the act of sharing something, that may have started out as beneficial but slowly started to change into validation instead. This innate feeling to share maybe a useful book, an activity or a household tip could so very easily become tinged with a drop of validation, a need of approval, acknowledgement….a need to see a red heart on my screen.
And then there was the feeling of needing to share personal moments of reflection. Those moments that we as mothers cherish so much when the house is quiet and the children are sleeping to perhaps study, read or even just think in silence. Suddenly the urge to share a picture of the candlelit desk, or mug of tea before I started began to seep in. And though Im not saying that I necessarily felt like I would continue to use my phone whilst I had my quiet time, I began to feel that the feeling of needed to tell others what I was doing somehow took something special away from it, especially when that moment was a spiritual reflection.
Thus, in a nutshell, that is why I left the world of social media and retreated back to just my blog. Somewhere I feel I can share things at a pace which I feel is healthier me insha’Allah.
Moving on, I pray you all are well. And before I finish this post, I wanted to express how happy I am to see you connecting with me here so we can continue to encourage and support each other. May Allah make our efforts sincere and only for Him, ameen.
PS: Let me know if I should have a section to keep the motivational quotes going, I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!