The Irritated Homeschool Mom

Asalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu ladies

I can’t believe its almost the end of October! We’ve been at our usual school routine for almost six weeks now and time has flown!

And although I thoroughly enjoy our homeschool journey there are times it can get tough.  Which brings me to the subject of this post.

You see, no matter how much we do enjoy our journeys, we are still human and are prone to days that don’t go as planned.  And despite having meal planned for the week, waking up to a clean house and lessons laid out on the dining table (go Super Mum!), it can take something mundane and you and you get irritated-fast!

So how do we come with days we become irritable?  Especially when these sorts of days keep on cropping up and start to affect the overall atmosphere of our home.  

I know the term ‘self care’ is often thrown out their at us Mothers when we seem to be having a bad day, but I’d like to delve a little further.

So instead of the term self-care, I propose ‘listen to yourself’.

Why do I say that?  Because for me ‘ self-care’ isn’t enough.  That one night ‘off’ to read a book whilst putting on a face-mask although can help temporarily, doesn’t always get to the root cause.  It allows you to pause and reflect when alone but not so much when you need it the most – when your with your children.

See difficult days are not related so much to the trigger i.e your toddler interrupting read aloud time again and again but more so when you haven’t paused to listen to what YOU need.  Like I mentioned on a recent Instagram post, as homeschool Moms we get so caught up in making learning a ‘freeing’ experience for our children, we somehow shackle ourselves.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So take some time out and listen to yourself.  

Did you eat breakfast or did you only plate up for the kids?
Did you get a good nights sleep or were you last to sleep and first to rise?

Did you enjoy the lesson you taught today or did the over-planning tire you and reduce it to a checklist box to get done?
Do you have enough gaps in your day to prolong positive learning opportunities or are extracurricular activities making life rigid?

Most importantly…

Are you rushing your salaah to get started on dinner, thus losing the beautiful essence of khushoo?
Are you yourself connecting with the Qu’ran, beyond revising with your children?
Is your intention to teach your children revisited often or has it gone rusty therefore you’ve lost your way?

Ask yourself what is bothering you. Listen intently and carefully.

It could be something as simple as you’re hungry to something much deeper like feeling a dip in your emaan.  Once you’ve pinpointed the root cause of your irritability, you can work on solutions and thus avoid being an irritated Mama.

As I say, it’s not the morning basket that makes the morning pretty; it’s you.


Make the Week(end) work for you

Asalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu my dear Mamas

I hope you are all having an enjoyable weekend.  I’ve intended to write this post for some time and asked on Instagram if you would be interested in reading it, to which several of you replied “Yes!”.  And like one sister pointed out, the struggle of finding time to enjoy our time is an issue Mamas in general face so much needed!

Before I start, let me explain the reasons as to why I personally made some changes and why the weekend wasn’t working for me.  See, I’d trained myself to see as the weekend as a break up of two things.  The first day was the ‘I’m not lifting a finger at all’ and the second was ‘Oh my gosh, its time to get my house back in order’ day.  Which meant I’d be deep cleaning all day, spending little time with my family: stressing myself out before the new week had even started.  And then homeschool planning after all the cleaning and cooking wasn’t exactly what I looked forward to either, especially if I just realised that I didn’t have the supplies I need!

So, I made some changes.  which have helped me regain that balance I was craving, Alhamdulillah, and I hope they help you too.

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Aligning Post Ramadan & Homeschool Goals

Assalamu alaykum sisters,

It’s that time of year again where most homeschooling families are wrapping up their current school year and busily planning for the next.

In the midst of researching curriculum, lesson planning, stationary hauls and typing up weekly schedules, it’s all too easy to lose sight of those goals we set a mere couple of weeks ago.

Those goals we set in the last third of the night…
The schedules we jotted down after finishing Taraweeh…
The daily practices we began to implement and promised ourselves we would carry on…

Yes, I’m talking about our post-Ramadan goals.

Ramadan – seems like only yesterday that we were planning its arrival and yet it seems like it was months ago.

After the excitement of Eid wears off and we start to find our feet again, old habits start to creep back in.

As mother’s, and specifically homeschooling mother’s, the weight of planning our children’s goals and objectives for the year can often lead to us giving our own less importance.

Slowly but surely…
The Qur’an memorisation we made time for, now gets filled with lesson planning.
The promise of physical self-care gets replaced with copious amounts of coffee again.
Our own path of seeking knowledge suddenly comes to a halt.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. We need too and should prioritise our own goals too. And YES, you do have TIME!!

How? Here are a few tips.

Instead of separating the two, why not plan your goals alongside your homeschool goals? Pull out your Ramadan goals, and have them next to your while you are planning your year. That way, you can account for both and plan your daily routine in such a way where you give everything adequate time.

For example, if you made the intention to memorise Qur’an daily, why schedule this in at the same time as your children. Perhaps Stay awake after Fajr, give your children their hifdh portion, and while they are memorising, you can memorise too.

If you had a pile of books you intended to read, ensure you read snippets during the day. So while the kids are playing after your morning subjects are done, have a well-earned break and read a few pages; alternatively leave a little early to collect your child from Arabic class so you can read in the car while you wait. Don’t wait until the kids sleep to get your daily dose of reading in…it won’t always happen and eventually you will place the unread book back on the bookshelf.

My overall advice to myself first and foremost and you, is to carefully look at those pockets of time, scribbling out anything unnecessary as well as ensuring you aren’t spending too much time in one area (homeschool prep can take over your life!!).  Then add in your Ramadan goals and make these a priority and part of your daily routine.

Because these goals we made when we feeling spirituality uplifted can change the whole dynamics of our homeschool and ultimately our home life.

So pick up that pink highlighter and get writing. Don’t allow your Ramadan goals to be left in your planner until next Ramadan.

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